_By Sam Agogo_
The viral clip from the UBA Graduate Management Accelerated Programme was only a few seconds long, yet it managed to ignite a nationwide debate.
A young trainee, standing before United Bank for Africa’s Group Chairman, Tony Elumelu, greeted him casually with “Good morning, Tony.
” Elumelu, visibly taken aback, corrected her immediately: “It’s Mr Elumelu, TOE, or Chairman.” His tone was firm but not hostile, and in that moment, he reminded millions of Nigerians watching online that respect is not a relic of the past — it is the living thread that binds our culture together.Why did this moment resonate so deeply? Because it touched something older than corporate etiquette. In Nigeria, greetings are not just words; they are rituals of respect. Among the Yoruba, sons prostrate before elders, daughters kneel, and greetings are instinctive. In Hausa-Fulani culture, youths lower themselves and wait for elders to extend a hand. The Igbo greet with both hands, never daring to call an uncle by his bare first name. Across ethnic lines — Efik, Tiv, Kanuri, Bini — the gestures differ, but the principle is the same: respect is the glue of society.Our elders even codified this respect in proverbs. The Yoruba say, “Agba kii wa loja ki ori omo tuntun wo” — elders do not stand by idly when a child falters. The Igbo remind us, “Ihe okenye na-ahu ka o nodu ala, nwata adighi ahu ya o guzo ọtọ” — wisdom comes with age, not height. The Hausa caution, “Ba a hana yaro girma, sai dai a hana shi rashin ladabi” — growth is inevitable, but bad manners must be checked. These sayings were not decorative; they were society’s operating manual.The trainee’s greeting was not malicious. It was the product of cultural substitution: Western corporate informality absorbed through podcasts, LinkedIn posts, and workplace influencers who preach that titles are unnecessary. In her world, calling a chairman “Tony” signals confidence. In Elumelu’s world, it signals carelessness. His correction was not about ego; it was about defending a generational code that built institutions long before hashtags and viral clips.This divide is not unique to Nigeria. Every generation accuses the next of losing its manners. But what makes this moment sting is that the lapse was not born of Nigerian innovation; it was borrowed wholesale from Western corporate culture. A Yoruba child who no longer knows to prostrate, a Hausa boy who forgets to wait for an elder’s hand, an office worker who greets a chairman like a peer — these are not updates to tradition. They are erasures.And here lies the irony. The same youths who embrace Western informality are often the loudest in celebrating “African excellence” at weddings, in music, or on Instagram captions. Culture cannot be costume. It is discipline, memory, and respect. To abandon the etiquette while flaunting the aesthetics is to hollow out the very foundation of cultural pride.Elumelu’s correction was a lesson: respect is not optional, and titles are not negotiable unless the elder permits. His response was immediate, not cruel, but instructive — the way an uncle might correct a niece at a family gathering. The trainee adjusted, said “Mr Elumelu,” and moved on. That humility to be corrected, and the grace to correct without humiliation, are themselves cultural values worth preserving.Silence, in that moment, would have taught every young person watching that the old order no longer matters. His correction reminded them that authority is not casual, and respect is not outdated.The deeper concern is whether Nigerian culture is evolving or being overwritten. Evolution is natural; substitution is dangerous. When young Nigerians instinctively reach for Western scripts of informality, it signals not innovation but displacement. A culture that forgets its own language of respect while learning another fluently risks losing its identity.This is not a call to fossilize tradition. Culture must adapt. But adaptation must be rooted in continuity, not imitation. The challenge is to modernize without erasing, to embrace global corporate practices without discarding indigenous codes of respect.The Tony Elumelu episode is more than etiquette. It is about authority, memory, and identity. Respect for elders is not merely about hierarchy; it is about acknowledging the wisdom and sacrifices that built the structures younger generations now inhabit.If Nigerian youths abandon these codes, they risk weakening the very social fabric that allows communities to thrive. Respect is not about suppressing confidence; it is about balancing confidence with humility.The lesson is simple, older than UBA, older than Elumelu, older than any of us. When you meet someone older or in authority, you do not assume the shortcut. You wait to be told. If the elder says, “Call me by my name,” you may. Until then, the title stands.This is not vanity. It is memory, carried in a single word, of everything an elder endured before the young were born to meet them.
*For reflections and further conversation, reach me at samuelagogo4one@yahoo.com or +2348055847364*
